So it isn't a huge secret that Nick and I have had our fair share of issues in our marriage. I think part of it is dealing with the stress of the army and the fact that we really are opposites. I love him with all my heart though he frustrates me so. I have a very wise friend who has been married for 16 almost 17 years to a man who has done the same to her.
She recommended a book to me about being a Godly woman who serves her husband as the Lord says you should - if you choose to get married. Some people can read this book and say she is asking you to be a servant to your husband who has no say but just does what she is told. No, not necessarily. She does not want you to be abused or taken advantage of, but she does want you to realize that he is the head of the household and should be respected as such. I can honestly say I always joke that I am head of this house because Nick is always gone with this work schedule. Really he is and I do most of the everyday chores around this house. Yes it gets tiring, and yes I get bitter. In reading this book I realized that the way in which I reacted to him and his actions has helped to cause some of the issues that we have had. I realized that I did not act as we are all told to act in the many chapters of the Bible and I was most certainly not even acting fair.
I love how in this book she has letters from people in each chapter to help show what she has been asked and how she responds, and let me tell you - she is blunt, but loving. I honestly like for someone to hurt my feelings, but at least I know what is expected - I know God's word is written, but having someone put it in everyday terms is like a "Wow!" moment for me. In being a novice Christian in my walk, I find myself re-learning things all the time. What I thought and what it is are two very different things sometimes!
Each chapter also ends with some take aways. Those were helpful, along with the scripture that is throughout the book. I can tell you that they are ones I have read a hundred times, but never really thought of them in the way they pertain to my marriage.
I always wanted God to just change Nick, but I also now realize that I cannot stand between Him and Nick. I am not going to try and be his way into heaven, but I can show him with my actions and love what God has done for me.